One is a lonely number
by Nocturnalux
Summary: The people around Izaya have been shunning him out of late. Dejected by the fact that he is lonely, he finally approaches Shizuo to confess that he is in love in him. Shizuo treats him very cruelly though and after sex Izaya sinks into deep depression
1. Chapter 1

**Pairing:** Shizuo/Izaya

**Prompt:** Karma has decided to give Izaya what he deserves, and proceeds to have everyone Izaya knows pretty much reject him from their life (Mikado blames him for Masaomi's leave, Simon lectures him again, Celty calls him heartless, etc. etc) and to top it all off, Shizuo rejects Izaya's love for him with disgust.  
>Izaya withdraws completely into himself, though somehow he and Shizuo end up having some kind of hate!sex. Happy ending or not is up to Anon, but please include Izaya repeating the line "I love you, please love me too" to himselfShizuo/humanity/etc.

* * *

><p>"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do."<br>The song flitted through the typical buzz of the Ikebukuro night but somehow Izaya caught the lyrics despite the chatter of many voices united as white noise. He shrugged and kept on strolling. Normally he caught people's attention with his skipping step alone but presently he walked hunched, hands in the warm pockets of his sleek jacket, eyes on the pavement. It was rare for him to be caught in the flashing neon without some plan of how to enjoy the night. After all, his network of human connections stretched tendrils far and wide and was ever at hid disposal. As of late, however, his advances had been repelled through and through. Just today Mikado had flat out told him to get lost, something about Izaya being to blame for Kida being involved in shady dealings. And before he even had time to properly digest this Celty had bothered to burn some rubber just to shove the PDA into his face with a succinct, 'You're heartless' on the screen.  
>Izaya sighed. He did not feel like going back to his apartment, his very big and very empty house that was a far cry from being a home. Finding himself in front of Simon's restaurant he decided to go in, maybe he could have some fun with Dotachin. He could not recognize anyone as he sat at the counter.<br>"Ootoro for one."  
>The chorus haunted him.<br>"Orihara-san, are you alone tonight?"  
>"Pretty much."<br>"Orihara-san, why do you think it's like that?"  
>Izaya sampled a bit of tasty fatty tuna.<br>"I do not know, Simon. Maybe people just don't like me much?"  
>He meant it as a joke but the big man nodded gravely.<br>"Orihara-san can be very annoying and mean. Always making fun of others, laughing at serious things. Upsetting Heiwajima-san."  
>Izaya was suddenly no longer hungry.<br>"Come on now, Shizu-chan just explodes over every little thing. You know how he's like."  
>"It's also Orihara-san's fault for being nasty and evil."<br>Izaya ate the rest of his sushi in silence. He had a feeling that he would end up whining if this conversation (which was more of a lecture) went on. Izaya left having eaten precious little. He wished that Simon had not brought up Shizuo. It depressed him more than he was at all willing to admit. Izaya checked his state of the art cell phone. No new messages.  
>His circle of acquaintances was very large and he had sources a bit all over the city but only a handful was actually truly interesting to talk to. All of these were currently shunning him for different reasons that conspired to make him a very lonely boy indeed.<br>Izaya bought a can of oolong tea from a vending machine and stood sipping. His mood was gloomy. He sat next to the bulky red block of metal and stared blankly at the crowds that streamed by. In the human tides that thronged Ikebukuro solitude was all the keener. Izaya tried to hide under the protective layer of his jacket. He felt distinctively cast apart from the flow of life. Not standing above people but pushed to the side and hemmed into isolation. It was a horrible feeling.  
>He checked his phone again for no actual reason. At length he got up and resumed his aimless wandering. Eventually he realized that he wanted someone to actually listen. Which was considerably more difficult than it might seem at first glance. Back in high school circumstance made it very easy to spend time with Shizuo (and in the process aggravate him considerably) but it was painfully obvious that Izaya did not just happen to 'pass by' Shizuo's many changing working places by mere chance. By now he was running out of options to 'drop by', then again whenever he did so Shizuo reacted with redoubled animosity.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Izaya zipped up his jacket and picked up his pace. As if he had somewhere to go. Of course he knew Shizuo's address and many a time had stalked him to the tiny apartment but there was no way he could simply knock at the door and make himself invited. If there was a place where he was most definitely not welcome it was Shizuo's. That was one of the reasons why Izaya kept himself so entertained pulling strings on, well, everybody else. Deprived of that he found himself turning again to the brute fact that this had long ago overstepped the bounds of a mere crush and was firmly installed in obsession territory. And of course he meant his feelings for Heiwajima Shizuo.  
>He passed by loud pachinko parlors, the thunderous noises reaching him on the street. Izaya had no patience for playing games. Vaguely, he considered perhaps getting online to gather some information but both work and recreation seemed both very empty. He had no destination so he was surprised to realize that his roaming had led him to Shizuo's apartment. Izaya considered turning on his heels and leaving. Instead he knocked and waited in anxiety as the sound of heavy steps became closer.<br>"Did you forget something? Oh. It's _you_."  
>Shizuo frowned on the entryway, a cigarette tucked between his lips, jaded blue jeans his only clothing. Izaya tried to smile.<br>"Hello, Shizu-chan. Were you expecting someone else? Or could it be that you've got company?"  
>"She just left. What are you doing here anyway?"<br>Izaya did his best not to show that he was hurt.  
>"Just wanted to see how you were doing."<br>"I was fine until you appeared."  
>Izaya leant forward and backwards on the balls of his feet as if he was ready to take flight. He was aware that more than ever Shizuo did not want him here and he could not quite bear it.<br>"I see. Sorry to have bothered you."  
>Izaya made as if to flee, the crushing pressure of tears about to implode on him, but a strong arm detained him. Before he could realize just what was happening he was being dragged indoors and pushed flat against the wall.<br>"Izaya-kun? I'm sick and tired of having you always nosing around."  
>The towering height difference made Shizuo loomed dangerously close to him as if about to smash him. Yet all that Izaya retained from this was the scent of sex still hanging in the narrow space between them. Izaya licked his lips.<br>"I was feeling a bit down and-"  
>"And what? You think we're friends or something? Like hell."<br>"I'll go away and I won't come back."  
>"Oh no you won't."<br>Shizuo picked him up by the hood and neatly threw him in the air. Izaya could almost already feel bones breaking as he hit the floor only to land on a soft bed. He put up his arms in an instinctive gesture of protection but Shizuo had him pinned down almost immediately.  
>"Shizu-chan-"<br>"Don't think I don't know. The way you look at me, it makes me sick."  
>Izaya did not even attempt a smile. He swallowed a few times to keep himself from crying.<br>"I just wanted you to- to like me."  
>Shizuo ripped the jacket to shreds and the shirt underneath, exposing a heaving chest.<br>"You came here because you wanted me to fuck you. And you know what? That's precisely what I'm going to do."  
>Izaya's breath hitched. Shizuo half bit half kissed his lips.<br>"Why…?"  
>"It'll rid you of your obsession."<br>Contempt marked each word. Still, Izaya spread himself and braced for what he knew would be relentless pain.  
>"Shizu-chan, do what you want."<br>"Stop –chan'ing me. I hate it."  
>Shizuo reached for a condom from the bedside table, bit it open and put it on after kicking aside pants and underwear. Izaya stared and let Shizuo divest him of his remaining clothes. Never before had he felt this vulnerable, his naked body very fragile in Shizuo's clutches. He could smell flowery perfume, clearly female.<br>"Do you hate me that much?"  
>"I've always hated you."<br>That was all the warning there was. Blazing pain filled Izaya. It knocked out the air out of him and replaced it with fire. Shizuo showed no mercy even as each thrust caused Izaya to nearly break.  
>"-hurts-"<br>"Serves you right. For all the shit you pull on everyone."  
>Izaya held on, shots of pleasure intermittent in the painful haze.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Shizuo was rough all the way. Izaya barely saw anything through a blurring veil of tears. Orgasm surprised him as there was so much pain tearing his body apart. He moaned under his breath. Shizuo snarled in response and withdrew immediately upon climax.  
>"You got your stuff on me."<br>Shizuo wiped the whitish liquid off his chest and belly with a tissue that he held with the tips of his fingers as if too disgusted to actually touched it. Izaya collected himself weakly.  
>"Sorry…"<br>Shizuo was already puffing smoke in his direction. It made Izaya cough. His tattered clothes were tossed at him.  
>"You know where the door is."<br>It was a blunt dismissal that was beyond insults. And much more hurtful. Izaya tried to dress in the ruins of his jacket. He knew that it was hopeless but still he placed a hand on Shizuo's strong arm.  
>"I love you- please love me too."<br>Even to himself Izaya sounded pitiful. Shizuo scowled and let some ash fall on him.  
>"Don't get the wrong idea. Just because I fuck you doesn't mean I give a shit about you. Guess what, I don't."<br>Izaya smiled wanly.  
>"I see."<br>"The door, Izaya-kun. No way in hell you're sleeping here. But hey, you're a decent lay. For a slut."  
>Izaya shuffled away under a hard scrutiny that was more eloquent in its contempt than any words could be. It occurred to him that only his shoes were intact. He turned around before leaving, a hand already on the handle.<br>"Is there anything I can for you not to hate me this much?"  
>"Sure is. Kill yourself. Do me and the world a favor."<br>"Sorry to have bothered you, Shizuo."  
>"One more thing. Stay out of 'bukuro."<br>Izaya walked away slowly. Above the heavens split and cold rain washed the city in a dark grey mirage that blurred all things. He was glad for it because it covered his tears even as he froze him into numbness. Izaya ended up halting by an alley where he slumped down next to a few heaps of garbage. Without checking his phone he threw it into the dim watery distance. He wrapped his arms around him and wished himself away from Tokyo, Japan, the world. Izaya wondered vaguely if he was still in Ikebukuro. This time around he fully intended to obey the band on this part of the city.  
>Izaya pulled up his hood. Shizuo had spared it. Unintentionally, Izaya was sure. He was already soaked anyway so it made no actual difference. Izaya just wanted to hide. This rubbish cluttered alley was very much like a hole into which he could crawl and simply disappear. By the time a soggy dawn broke through dirty clouds Izaya was rather sure that he was sick but he did not particularly care either. Dimly he heard his phone ring but turned his back to it and slowly made his way to his apartment, coughing slightly.<br>Large pools of water stained the carpet as he kicked off his shoes and headed for the bathroom to strip and roll a towel around his benumbed body. The mirror showed him bluish lips. He did not bother running a hot bath. Instead he turned off his computer, ignoring the flashing messages on the screen and then unplugged it altogether. He did the same to the telephone.  
>Izaya sank in bed. Sweat dampened his skin without cooling him. He was burning up. Fever, by the looks of it. Izaya coughed again. He considered shuffling to get some medicine but decided that it was not even worth it. Shizuo's words still resounded in his mind like a sharp echo. Izaya realized that it would have been for best if Shizuo had simply dropped a vending machine on top of him and put an end to his misery. His bones ached in a dull throbbing way. His doorbell went off and Izaya rolled to his side. Loud knocking followed.<br>"Hello? I just finished the job. Orihara-san?"  
>"Just go away."<br>"Hello?"  
>Izaya's voice was too croaked to reach. He staggered to the door and nearly fell on top of Kida as he opened it.<br>"Just go away."  
>"Just what happened? I've been calling nonstop for the last hour and-"<br>"Bad day today. Oh by the way, you're fired. I'm retiring. Go back to school or whatever."


	4. Chapter 4

Kida touched the burning forehead and took him by the arm, closing the door behind them. Izaya was too weak to offer any resistance as Kida dragged him to the bathroom, began to run a bath and shuffled through the medicine cabinet.  
>"Don't you have aspirin or something?"<br>"I told you already, you're fired. Just leave already."  
>Kida sighed.<br>"See, this is why people don't like you. You've got an awful attitude."  
>"Not you too. Mikado has been harping that I'm 'leading you astray' or some other shit. It's not my fault everyone's against me."<br>Izaya was very aware that he sounded terribly pitiful but he also did not care.  
>"Orihara-san, you're old enough to take care of yourself properly. Okay, the water is fine, hop in."<br>Izaya had some snappy retort or another ready but it was too much of a bother. So he sat in his oversized tub, arms wrapped around his knees.  
>"I know that everyone hates me. I'm not <em>that<em> bad of a person."  
>"Right…anyway, you can't just go disappearing like this just because you're having a bad day. What was it now? Heiwajima-san again?"<br>Izaya sank until he was blowing bubbles on the water.  
>"Fine, don't answer. When you don't answer your phone I'm the one who gets calls from angry clients. And what am I supposed to tell them? 'Sorry, Orihara-san is just depressed right now. His crush just doesn't like him so he's all sad.'"<br>"Watch your tone, Kida."  
>"So you're getting mad at me now? Hey, I'm not the one being a jerk to you. I'm probably your only ally. If you want to get angry at someone it should be Heiwajima."<br>"Only I get to talk shit about Shizu-chan."  
>"Glad to see you're becoming your old self again. I'll go fix some tea and try to appease your clients…somehow."<br>As if on cue Kida's phone rang loudly. Kida walked out of the room, his voice dimming as he walked away.  
>"Orihara-san is currently busy. Yes, we will take care of your request very short. Tomorrow at the latest. No, you don't need to get another informant. I assure you that Orihara Izaya is the best one in town."<br>Izaya tried to unwind. It was so comfortable here that he nearly fell asleep. He was rather groggy and about to slide under water when he was shaken rather forcibly.  
>"I leave you alone for one second and you nearly drown on me?"<br>"Stop acting like you're my mother."  
>"Gladly, as soon you stop acting like a kid. Tea's ready, here get dressed."<br>Kida handed him some clothes. Izaya put them on and sat down on his plush sofa that was not big enough to clutter the spacious living room. He sipped some warm tea while Kida stared at him intently.  
>"So, are you going to tell me just what happened to you?"<br>"It's none of your business anyway."  
>"What you do in your private life is all on you but when it affects work then it becomes my business. Where's your cell? Left it at Heiwajima's?"<br>"I threw it away."  
>Kida jumped out of the sofa.<br>"You did what? Where? Around his apartment?"  
>"Don't really know. Some alley."<br>Kida threw his arms into the air and then pointed dramatically at him.  
>"Orihara Izaya, this will not do <em>at all<em>. You've got all of your contacts on your cell's card. Imagine if someone picks it up!"  
>"You're too loud, I have a headache and-"<br>"Tough. I'm the one that has to look for the damned thing now! Why did you remove the GPS device!"  
>"Because I don't like you knowing where I am 247."  
>"Fine. Whatever. So where is it, Ikebukuro? Can you narrow it down at least a bit?"<br>"It should be in 'bukuro…maybe not. I walked back home-"  
>"You walked all the way from Ikebukuro in the rain? Are you insane?"<br>Kida's phone rang. He glanced at the screen and said,  
>"Shit, it's Mikado. You answer it."<br>"He's your friend, you talk to him. He'll just blame me for every thing that's wrong in the world. I bet global warming is my fault too."  
>"…I'll put the call on loudspeaker."<br>Before Izaya could object Mikado's voice was already booming,  
>"Kida-kun, where are you? I hope you're not with that guy. Just come back!"<br>Izaya put a pillow over his ears as Mikado went on and on. At length he snapped.  
>"Try Disneyland, Mikado. Try Disneyland!"<br>"I _knew_ it was your fault. Give me back Kida!"  
>"He's all yours. For your information I just fired him but he's not going away. Please come collect him."<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Both Kida and Izaya could almost see Mikado frown on the other side of the line.  
>"Kida better have quitted on his own. Just who do you think you are to fire my best friend?"<br>Izaya sighed. It was clear that he could not possibly win.  
>"I'm his boss. Or ex boss."<br>"Are you in your apartment in Shinjuku? Kida-kun, you'll have to explain to me what you're doing there at this time of day. I bet you're there with Orihara-san, if you spent the night with him-"  
>Izaya rolled his eyes.<br>"We're in Disneyland, Mikado."  
>"Don't try to act funny, Orihara-san. Disneyland isn't open this early. And Kida-kun, I <em>will<em> be having a word with you."  
>Izaya burst out laughing. It had been a very bad day, his head was still fuzzy with a bad fever that made everything look slightly yellowish and rejection had shattered him into so many little pieces that Mikado's outburst in its absurd seriousness smacked of hilarity.<br>"This isn't funny!"  
>"Yes, yes it is. And I'm afraid I've got to go now. Must rape Kida like the evil person I am- I mean, get him some cotton candy. Bye-bye."<br>Izaya turned off the phone and rubbed his temples before drinking the rest of the tea.  
>"Your choice of friends is highly questionable, you know."<br>Kida bit his lower lip in an attempt to look professional and keep himself from giggling.  
>"It matches your choice in lovers, then."<br>Izaya nodded.  
>"I guess it does. But at least Shizu-chan isn't with the KGB."<br>Kida's cell rang again.  
>"Ah, speaking of the devil. It's Heiwajima Shizuo-san. You're not taking it?"<br>Izaya shook his head and Kida picked it up.  
>"Hello, Heiwajima-san. Ah, you do? Great! I'll go get it in a jiffy. Thank you."<br>"What did he want…?"  
>Izaya was almost afraid to ask.<br>"Good news, Orihara-san. Turns out you walked around in circles and ended up dropping your cell right behind Heiwajima's apartment. He picked it up because it kept ringing. I'll be back shortly."  
>Kida stopped on his tracks as soon as he opened the door and nearly bumped into a person standing just outside the threshold.<br>"Er, hi there, Mikado."  
>"You were here after all. Orihara, you'll pay for this."<br>Izaya shuffled to the entryway. Mikado stood under an umbrella, cell phone in the other hand.  
>"Oh, what did I even do <em>now<em>? Gestapo boy is angry at me. Kida, carry on with your assignment. Mikado, get the hell out before I throw up on you. You can fool around with him when he's done with work."  
>Mikado nearly lounged forward. Kida was amused that Izaya upheld such a high work ethic when others were concerned but did away with it completely when it came to himself.<br>"What are you implying?"  
>Kida waved conciliatorily.<br>"Never mind, Mikado. I have things to do and I'm sure you are busy as well so let's just go and-"  
>"I detoured all the way to get you. And Orihara-san is implying that I don't have your best interests in mind. Which I do."<br>Izaya rolled his eyes yet again, drastically.  
>"Oh cry me a river, why don't you. Bring me an aspirin on your way back, Kida. And take an umbrella, I'm afraid I'll have to ruin Mikado's romantic stroll under the same umbrella scheme."<br>"Will do."  
>Even through the closed door Izaya could still hear Mikado going on about what an absolutely horrible person Orihara-san was while Kida dismissed him in his laughing way. Izaya flung himself in bed and closed his eyes. He couldn't even begin to understand why people were fond of this borderline stalker that did nothing but go ballistic whenever Kida was involved. It must be because Mikado acted nice and sweet when you first met him and such initial impressions tended to carry a lot of weight. Not to mention few knew about Mikado's less than sane obsessions and even fewer were acquainted with the alternative use he had for ballpoint pens.<br>Despite everything Izaya felt a little better. Less lonely. He decided to rehire Kida then realized that he might not even be able to actually fire him. Izaya cuddled with a big pillow, wishing that he could be hugging Shizuo instead. He did not know how he would be able to look Shizuo in the eye ever again. Having made such an idiot out of himself made it exceedingly difficult. His only consolation was that Shizuo was not the gossiping kind and so he would not go around talking.


	6. Chapter 6

Izaya yawned, his exhaustion catching up on him with a vengeance. He had the clear impression that his life was a bizarre comedy played against the backdrop of elemental tragedy, punctuated with farce moments like the little scene that had just taken place with Mikado and Kida. And these only highlighted how bleak his existence could be. Izaya longed for comfort but not the kind that luxury could afford as much as real human contact. And that could only mean Shizuo. His mind wandered off between slumber and thought, making it porous and able to turn to painful possibilities, their edges blunted by stupor. Maybe he should simply take Shizuo's advice. Izaya wondered if anyone would even go to his funeral. He imagined the scene, complete with empty seats and only Kida standing before the grave afterwards because Orihara-san owned him money. His imagination took a turn for the masochist, blending his odd sense of humor with depressing scenarios. He pictured a full house for his funeral, complete with carousing and plenty of partying.  
>Shinra would tap Shizuo in the shoulder to congratulate him for having convincing Izaya to finally jump off a building, Mikado would gloat and probably be a bit sad he had not killed him himself with that pen of his, Dotachin would toss off his perennial hat in the air and actually dance, Celty would even forget about her missing head for once, Shizuo would just crack a smile and then kick the gravestone. Or maybe they would not bother getting him one. And again, only Kida would be upset because Orihara-san owned him some wages.<br>Izaya chuckled softly at this. It was indeed an amusing mental image as long as it remained that. Unfortunately he suspected that it was not completely off either. He slipped into odd dreams that seemed to tire him more than anything.  
>Izaya woke up with an all too familiar insult aimed at him in an all too familiar voice.<br>"You're an idiot."  
>He blinked and rubbed his eyes sleepily. His vision was a bit blurred and it took a lot more blinking before he could ascertain that the bulky figure towering at the feet of bed was indeed who he thought it was.<br>"Shizu-chan…? I mean, Shizuo-kun."  
>The correction was almost automatic but Izaya was still afraid that it had not been immediate enough. Shizuo glowered at him from behind blue tinted lenses that made his eyes impossible to read.<br>"You're an idiot. Walking all the way to Shinjuku in the bloody rain."  
>Izaya blinked in confusion yet again as Shizuo handed him a glass where an aspirin fizzed.<br>"Why are you here…?"  
>He could not quite see the door from this angle but he would not put it past Shizuo to simply have knocked it down.<br>"Blonde kid let me in."  
>"That would be Kida."<br>Izaya wondered very briefly if Kida had decided that getting him beaten within an inch of his life might be fun. Or maybe he just wanted those dream wages. Izaya shook his head and tried to focus on reality.  
>"Didn't know you were into little boys."<br>"Huh? Kida just works for me."  
>"Oh I'm sure he 'just works' just <em>fine<em>."  
>Maybe Shizuo had been talking to Mikado. Which was a horrible combination all around.<br>"What are you talking about?"  
>"Didn't know you let workers into your home at this time of day. And drink your fucking aspirin before I kick you into the wall."<br>Izaya opened his mouth to ask the point of doing such a thing but gave up altogether. He obeyed more because he was still in a daze more than anything else. Izaya was not particularly concerned about his health at the moment.  
>"Where did Kida go?"<br>"Hell if I know."  
>Shizuo was angry as usual but Izaya was at a loss as to why he was even here. Instead of asking about that, however, he found himself saying,<br>"Did you by any chance talk to the other kid, he should be wearing a Raira uniform and-"  
>"What's up with you and these pesky kids?"<br>Izaya blinked.  
>"Work acquaintances."<br>"Oh really. Like I'd buy that, you liar."  
>"I am telling the truth."<br>Shizuo snorted.  
>"Yeah, right. Sure you are. And pigs fly."<br>"I don't know what you're going on about-"  
>Shizuo took a step in his direction and Izaya flinched out of instinct.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

"This is why you just can't be trusted. You're a filthy liar all around, just when I think there might be some truth to all the stuff you spin, you go and do something that shows how much of a liar you are after all."  
>"I don't <em>know<em> what all that is even supposed to mean."  
>"Bullshit! You know everything! With all your running around like the weasel you are, spying on people."<br>Izaya propped himself up and lowered the arms he still held up in a gesture of self defense that he knew would not help him much if Shizuo was to charge.  
>"What spying? You're the one in <em>my<em> apartment for reasons I can't even begin to fathom-"  
>"Fuck you, with your fancy words."<br>Shizuo lifted up and dangled him in the air above his blankets.  
>"You've already done that so what now?"<br>Izaya did not even care about his bones breaking as he was sure would surely happen. Instead Shizuo checked his temperature, lips placed on the forehead. Izaya was shocked into silence. Shizuo put him down and sat on the bed.  
>"You still have a fever."<br>Izaya shuffled away, putting disheveled linen between them.  
>"I know. Why are you here again?"<br>Shizuo lit a cigarette and puffed, tapping a foot all along and staring blankly at the floor. Unanswering. Izaya tried to collect himself and breached the widening silence.  
>"Look, Shizu-, Shizuo. I won't say that what happened tonight was rape. We both know I wanted it so that's that, but why-"<br>"It's not like I didn't want it too."  
>"Right…I always knew that you hate me. I guess you have good reasons for that and you've made it very clear."<br>Izaya noticed that Shizuo had not removed his shoes. He wondered if he was just being rude on purpose or if it had just slipped his mind.  
>"Of course I hate you- but- fuck, I was worried when the kid told me that you were sick."<br>Shizuo got up suddenly and paced back and forth. Izaya watched him with growing confusion.  
>"Worried?"<br>Shizuo halted and turned around to him with a glare aimed at Izaya.  
>"Don't you try to fucking guilt trip, Izaya!"<br>"What…?"  
>"I see how it is. You bloody did this on purpose, you're just screwing me over as always."<br>The big man towering above Izaya seemed to have reached a decision. Izaya shivered a bit as cold sweat broke anew.  
>"I honestly don't-"<br>"'Honestly'? Fuck that, like you have any of that!"  
>"-have a clue of what you're going on about."<br>Shizuo hesitated, seemingly torn between punching a hole into Izaya's face or lightly touch him. Years of pent up resentment caught up with him.  
>"Don't you <em>pretend<em>. You did this on purpose, walking in the bloody _rain_ across town, getting sick like this- it's all to make me feel guilty! It's not my fault you're fucked up! Bloody louse. And people wonder why I hate your guts."  
>Anger could be contagious. Some of it spread over to Izaya.<br>"I wouldn't do something _that_ convoluted, it's not all about you-"  
>"Don't use words I don't even fucking understand!"<br>"Then don't barge into my apartment swearing every second word."  
>Shizuo fumed, hands clenching and unclenching.<br>"Orihara Izaya, I am sick and tired of you. And I hate it that- that- fuck."  
>"If you want to hit me just go ahead and do it. I don't even care."<br>Shizuo snorted.  
>"Oh no you don't. Don't think that's gonna work."<br>"Whatever."  
>The silence that followed was highly uncomfortable. Shizuo turned his glare at the floor and by the time he looked up at Izaya, he was tentative.<br>"Did you even mean what you said?"  
>"About what?"<br>This entire dialogue was idiotic and it was adding up to Izaya's headache. For a split second it seemed that Shizuo was about to explode again.  
>"What you said about…loving me."<br>Izaya blinked. A yellow filter crept over all things, turning Shizuo into smudged impression that Izaya had to squint to even recognize as a person. Izaya wondered if the electricity was acting up on him and then darkness smothered him as he swooned. Before consciousness collapsed and folded he caught a glimpse of Shizuo panicking and wondered at the back of his mind (that was shutting down like some ancient computer) that Shizuo would probably accuse him of fainting on purpose. It was vaguely amusing thought. And then he was out completely and beyond the pale of his odd sense of humor.


	8. Chapter 8

Izaya drifted awake by slow degrees. So much so that he was still half immersed in grey unconsciousness and already he could hear garbled voices sounding through the heavy fog. He blinked a few times before finally opening his eyes to Shizuo completely blocking out his field of sight. Izaya tried to weakly crawl away to no avail.  
>"He'll be fine, staring at him won't help. So give him some space."<br>Shinra's voice. Izaya looked up to find the doctor and tried to make a joke out of this.  
>"How long do I have to live, Shinra. Be honest with me."<br>"See? I told you he's fine, he's back to being unfunny."  
>Apparently Shinra was more interested in reassuring Shizuo than actually helping Izaya. Dead cigarettes littered the floor, courtesy of much smoking and pacing back and forth on Shizuo's part. Izaya sat up and made as if to walk away but gave up almost right away because his head still rang hollowly. And Shizuo was there to block his exit and then sit next to him. Izaya scribbled something on a pad and handed a few pills to Shizuo.<br>"Give him one these with each meal for the next three days. It's just a fever, nothing major. And speaking of which, make sure you feed him."  
>"Hello, Shinra-sensei? I can actually hear you, in case you haven't noticed."<br>Shinra spared Izaya a glance.  
>"I hate it when patients get themselves sick because of their folly. Just eat, rest, take your meds and stop worrying everyone."<br>Izaya sighed.  
>"I didn't call you, so sorry for the trouble. And everyone hates me anyway."<br>Shinra adjusted his glasses.  
>"I don't have the time or patience to deal with your victim complex right now, Izaya. You just ruined my free day that I was planning to spend with Celty. I hope-"<br>"Oh, go to hell."  
>Izaya buried himself under the blankets and squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to sleep his fever away and with some luck wake up to less craziness. Shinra exchanged a few more words with Shizuo and then the door opened and closed. Izaya relaxed a bit. He thought himself to be alone and so he slipped into a very light slumber that was interrupted by Shizuo putting a tray with food next to him.<br>"Eat up."  
>Izaya realized that he was indeed hungry. Even if what he was being served was instant ramen that was rather tasteless. Shizuo watched him from a chair, staring intently as if he had something on his mind that he could not quite bring himself to say. Izaya was about to ask about it when his cell phone split the tense silence with a shrill ringtone. He picked it up out of reflex.<br>"Orihara-san, you have got to help me."  
>"Oh, Kida. Thanks for getting the phone but where are you, what happened, and why are you calling from an unknown number?"<br>Izaya figured that Kida was more likely to provide information than Shizuo who seemed bent on brooding.  
>"Disneyland, public phone. I'll explain later, just call me in five minutes and tell Mikado that you need me back on the double."<br>"Disneyland! Are you serious?"  
>"I just spent the last two hours listening to Mikado ramble about 'friendship' while 'It's a Small World' plays in the background. I'm afraid he'll check my cell, just call me so I can get out of here."<br>"And face the wrath of CIA boy? Gee, not sure if I want that."  
>"Orihara-san, I'm going insane. Mikado is getting ready to lecture me again!"<br>"Okay, okay. Fine, I'll call you."  
>"Thank the heavens. Oh no, he's back."<br>And with that Kida was gone. Izaya sighed.  
>"What's up with you and these kids?"<br>Izaya rubbed his temples and resumed eating his rubbery meal.  
>"Like I said, Kida works for me. Mikado…Mikado gets in the way."<br>Shizuo cupped his cheek then seemed to regret the gesture because he withdrew his hand almost immediately.  
>"I thought they were your personal harem or something."<br>"What? I don't even know. So can you now tell me what is going on here?"  
>Izaya was not even particularly surprised. His reputation tended to cast a dark pale over the facts to the point that 'word on the street' was ultimately a very warped distortion that gave the idea that Orihara Izaya was the lowest of low in the moral ladder, perhaps even not on it.<br>"I called Shinra because you passed out."  
>"That much I had figured out. But why are you here at all?"<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Shizuo rubbed his chin and at the last moment ditched the question altogether.  
>"Don't forget your pills."<br>He handed Izaya a glass of cold water. Izaya grimaced as he swallowed. His throat was parched.  
>"I guess I should thank you for calling Shinra."<br>Izaya did not sound particularly convinced of his own words. Shizuo noticed.  
>"That blonde kid came round to get your phone and told me you were sick…so I tagged along to see how you were doing. I mean, it's not like I want to have your death on my conscience."<br>"Wasn't I supposed to jump off a building or something?"  
>"I didn't <em>think<em> you'd do that."  
>"Heh…good for you I didn't, then."<br>Izaya was a master at dialoguing but he was not saying anything that he really wanted to say.  
>"Izaya-"<br>"Look,-"  
>The awkward pause that fell was keenly felt by the two of them. Izaya resumed the thread of conversation first, if only to shift it over.<br>"You first."  
>Shizuo walked up and down and snapped a few cigarettes that he did not even bother to smoke or even lit.<br>"You always get me off my pace. And you like doing it, too. Tonight, last night that is- I just wanted to get even with you for once in my life. You're always running ahead and making fun of me, bloody annoys me."  
>Izaya was caught aback by this.<br>"You've got reasons for hating me, that much is true. How long…have you known that I, I mean, how I feel about you?"  
>Painfully, Izaya stumbled on his words. Off character all around but very real. Almost coy in his approach as if already shielding himself against a devastating blow.<br>"I'm not stupid, you know. It was pretty obvious since day one. Not that I believe you've got feelings for anyone, you just wanted to fuck like the slut you are."  
>Izaya winced even if he fully expected this.<br>"I didn't know it was that obvious. And I do want more than just sex."  
>Shizuo snorted.<br>"Like hell. Don't try to convince me that you came to my apartment because you wanted me to become your boyfriend or some shit."  
>Izaya drank some more water.<br>"I knew that would never happen."  
>"So you can only treat me like a human being when you feel like the world hates you."<br>The glass nearly hit the floor.  
>"You're exaggerating, I don't treat you like-"<br>"Bullshit! You walk all over me _all_ the time. You provoke me on purpose because you know I'll totally lose it and _then_ you cackle like you're having the time of your life."  
>Izaya recognized some truth to this but he was unwilling to admit it.<br>"You're the one that calls me 'flea' and whatnot."  
>Shizuo growled.<br>"Like that even bothers you. You tick me off but nothing short of a bloody vending machine hitting you has any effect on you apart from amusing you. You see me as a joke and some sort of homi, what do you call those cavemen?"  
>"Hominid?"<br>"That. So screw you and your 'Golly, I just _love_ humanity!' Serves you right that people give you a taste of your own medicine."  
>Shizuo towered very tall above Izaya but somehow this victory was far too bitter and hollow. Izaya was silent for a while, letting all this anger sink in, his fingers grasping tightly at the glass that he held with both hands.<br>"What was I supposed to do, Shizu-, Shizuo? Just confess to you back in school? Letter in the shoe locker, that kind of thing? You'd probably have smashed my head against the nearest wall."  
>"How about not pissing me off at every single turn?"<br>Izaya smiled wanly.  
>"You hated me even before I said a word. It wouldn't have mattered what I did."<br>"So you figured you might as well amuse yourself fucking me over?"  
>"Not exactly. But somewhere along the line…being obnoxious became the only way I could be with you until having a proper conversation was just impossible."<br>Yet oddly enough, after so many years of bad blood, it seemed that such an exchange was taking place.  
>"How do I know you're not shitting me?"<br>"You don't. I could say that you have my word but that would not mean anything to you, I'm sure."  
>Shizuo opened his mouth to answer, he knew not even what, when the phone rang again. Frantically this turn around. Shizuo picked it up.<br>"Orihara-san, it's been ten minutes!"  
>"Blondie, pipe it. I'm talking to Izaya. Long overdue chat."<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

On the other side of the line Kida looked around just in time to see Mikado not looking at all happy. So he decided to bluff and spoke into the receiver even though the line just went dead on him.  
>"I see, I will be there as soon as possible, Orihara-san."<br>Izaya cast Shizuo a questioning look.  
>"Did you hang up on Kida?"<br>Shizuo turned off the phone.  
>"No more interruptions."<br>With that said, they were on shaky ground now.  
>"For what it's worth, I'm sorry Shizuo…for being a jerk to you."<br>"Saying that doesn't make it all okay, you know."  
>Izaya nodded.<br>"But we've got to start somewhere. In our…I want to say 'relationship' but it's off."  
>"So it's 'we' now? You're just spinning things."<br>But Shizuo did not seem completely convinced of this.  
>"I'm not. I can't make you believe me but I mean it. But I suppose a fresh start is too much to ask for."<br>"Damn right."  
>Shizuo tapped his foot impatiently. Izaya finished drinking and arranged the pillows around in an effort to impose some sort of order and to keep his hands occupied. He too was restless.<br>"I guess I never grew up. A bit like those kids that annoy their crushes because they don't know any better. Before I knew it years had gone by and we were estranged."  
>"Don't use words I don't understand. You're smart but you got to act like a smartass."<br>Izaya sighed quietly.  
>"Thanks…for the smart bit. But I wasn't trying to confuse you."<br>"You have a way for making me feel retarded. Just because you're smart doesn't mean everyone else's an idiot."  
>Izaya looked into Shizuo's eyes.<br>"Shizuo, I _am_ sorry."  
>"At least you're not '-chan'ing me anymore."<br>Shizuo was aware that he was evading Izaya's sincerity.  
>"Since you hate it so much. Is 'Shizuo-kun' better? Or maybe 'Heiwajima…san?'"<br>"Sounds weird to me."  
>Izaya was greatly surprised as Shizuo bridged the gap between them and placed lips on his forehead, softly, in a quasi kiss.<br>"Your fever's going down."  
>"I feel better now."<br>Shizuo seemed uncertain as to whether he should resume his seat, stand, or sit next to Izaya. In the end he took the last option, bedsprings creaking to accommodate his weight that was all titanic muscle and iron-like bone. This disparity between them struck him anew.  
>"You're always so pleased with yourself that I forgot you're actually pretty fragile."<br>Izaya allowed himself a weak smile.  
>"It's a miracle you haven't killed me up at point one or another."<br>"I don't like violence- _don't_ you laugh."  
>"I'm not laughing."<br>"Good."  
>Izaya hugged his knees, wrapping slender arms in a protective gesture.<br>"I knew you were never serious about killing anyone, me included."  
>"I'm glad you're not too sick. If we don't count your brain, that is."<br>"Now that's just mean."  
>Shizuo hesitated. At length he sketched something of a caress in the way he ran fingers through Izaya's hair.<br>"I _shouldn't_ care about you. And I always thought it'd be great if you just disappeared or something. But when the blonde kid told me you weren't well- and then you just blacked out on me like that- I didn't like it. Thought you were dying."  
>"No one would actually die from a fever."<br>"Dunno about that."  
>More silence. This time it was Shizuo who interrupted it.<br>"I was worried that you'd do something stupid and do like I told you and jump off a building. I was looking for you when I heard your phone ringing."  
>Izaya blinked rapidly.<br>"I don't know what to say."  
>Shizuo snorted.<br>"Now that's new. Unlike you, I'm not a bastard. So I felt bad about what happened."  
>"You're not a bad guy."<br>"It's _you_ who is a fucking villain. And still- I'm not proud of how I acted."  
>"That makes two of us, then."<br>Shizuo nodded from within his cloud of gloom.  
>"You really feel better? It's just like you to put on some tough act at the worst possible time."<br>"Strangely enough I feel a lot better. Look, I know that we can't just ignore everything and turn a new leaf but do you think we can try to start as friends? I'll settle for that."  
>Izaya phrased it in very conditional terms. Yet he did feel much more at ease.<br>"I don't know. Cuz I have a feeling that as soon as you're back on your feet, you'll be stabbing in the back. _Again."_


	11. Chapter 11

"That can't possibly happen if we- if we walk side by side."  
>Shizuo produced another cigarette.<br>"You wanna be friends?"  
>"I'm very low when it comes to those, believe it or not."<br>"Blonde kid seems friendly enough."  
>"Ah. That's because he wants his wages. Better still if they're on time."<br>Izaya hesitated before plucking the cigarette from Shizuo's hand and taking a drag that had him coughing for the next ten minutes.  
>"What the hell, indirect kiss?"<br>"Heh, yeah. Always- always wanted to try that."  
>Izaya smiled through another coughing fit.<br>"You can't even smoke properly?"  
>"Well excuse me for believing in a healthy lifestyle."<br>Shizuo patted him in the back, for once careful as not to cause harm.  
>"You're the one who's sick."<br>"Ah, we can't know that for sure. Maybe you have lung cancer and will drop dead any time now."  
>Izaya started at his own words and added rapidly,<br>"Sorry, bad joke."  
>"Whatever. It's not you without your horrible sense of humor."<br>"Oh yay?"  
>Shizuo took the cigarette back and contemplated it. He had these thoughtful moments that Izaya found exceedingly interesting and to the world at large were simply morose intervals in the almost constant turning of tables.<br>"Not 'oh yay', what the hell is that even supposed to mean?"  
>"It's an interjection of sorts."<br>"A what?"  
>"It just means that I'm happy, I guess."<br>Shizuo nodded.  
>"Good. Can't stand you when you're down. It's even worse than your usual self."<br>Izaya licked his lips. He was rather afraid.  
>"Will you be my friend? And since I am so low on those you can be promoted to best friend overnight."<br>Even to himself Izaya sounded silly.  
>"You got friends and you'd have more if you didn't treat them like shit."<br>"Ah. Right."  
>The question had been evaded. Shizuo seemed to muse for a while.<br>"I mean, Shinra and Kadota are your friends. Even Celty and Simon. Just cuz they told you off or whatever it doesn't mean they don't like you. So you had a bad day, big fucking deal. Welcome to my life. I have those all the time."  
>Shizuo spoke calmly even as he intersected his wisdom with swearing.<br>"I can imagine. It must be difficult being you."  
>Izaya suddenly felt the urge to kiss him.<br>"Well, I'm stuck in a shitty place and even that I couldn't afford if not for Tom's help. While you live in a palace apartment in Shinjuku."  
>"Want to move in?"<br>Shizuo frowned.  
>"Not funny."<br>"Look on the bright side, at least you've got a girlfriend."  
>Izaya tried to adjust to this new shift between them.<br>"Yeah, right. As if. Aren't you supposed to be real clever or some shit? You should know that girlfriends stay over, they don't just leave in the middle of the night."  
>"You have a point there."<br>Izaya had missed that detail completely.  
>"Just some chick I know from work."<br>"Does that mean you're available, then?"  
>"Don't even go there."<br>More silence. Izaya gathered his bearings in the space it afforded him. He chose his next words carefully.  
>"Does it disgust you, doing such things with a man?"<br>Shizuo shrugged.  
>"Doesn't matter much. You're about as small as a woman anyway. Flea sized, even. Hell, you're so small it's even easy to forget you're not a chick. I have no idea how you get by without being carried by the wind. Especially since you're into being on rooftops."<br>"Come on now, I'm not _that_ small."  
>Izaya rolled his eyes. Shizuo watched him closely, taking in his delicate smoothness.<br>"You are to me. You haven't grown since high school and you were already small back then. And you don't look a day past sixteen. You may be even getting younger with all this emo crap. You're short because I bet you never drank your milk."  
>"You got me there. Speaking of which, aren't you hungry?"<br>"You only have card box instant food around. How the hell are you supposed to recover eating that, damn."  
>"Er, you can always go get something."<br>Izaya kicked himself. The last thing he wanted to do was invite Shizuo to leave him.  
>"Not going anywhere. You're still sick. Guess I'll order."<br>"Oh, order from this sushi joint that I really love. The number's by the phone."


	12. Chapter 12

Shizuo scanned the menu.  
>"Good grief, this is expensive."<br>"It's okay, it's on me. And I got a special discount since I'm a regular costumer. Order something for you too. I recommend-"  
>"Ootoro, yeah I know. You were always chugging down tuna back in school. No cafeteria food for Orihara Izaya."<br>He could not precisely tell but he had a feeling that Shizuo was smiling. But his back was turned so Izaya was left wondering.  
>"Don't you like fatty tuna as well?"<br>"Dunno. Never tried it. I get by on a minimum wage."  
>Izaya rubbed his chin.<br>"You know, I could fix you up a well paid job."  
>"No thanks. It's something shady I bet."<br>Izaya chuckled.  
>"How little faith you have in me."<br>"Are you saying it isn't a shady deal?"  
>"It depends on what you mean by 'shady'."<br>"Shady is shady."  
>And with this tautology Shizuo ordered.<br>"Are you still working as a bodyguard?"  
>"Like you don't know that already. You keep tabs on half the city. I bet you have it all stashed away in some files."<br>"You change jobs so often that it's impossible to keep a record."  
>"That's because I get fired. Must be great being your own boss."<br>Izaya laughed.  
>"I am pretty sure I'll be fired after today. My clients, for the lack of a better word, while being upstanding citizens all around are somewhat lacking when it comes to that great virtue that is patience. And of all days to take a break it figures that Kida would pick today to have a romantic getaway with Pen Boy, in Disneyland! Heh, oh dear. I hope he's having fun."<br>Shizuo could tell from the sly turn to Izaya's smile that he hoped the exact opposite.  
>"You're really weird, you know."<br>"I hear that a lot. But it's not at all true. In fact-"  
>The door bell cut him off.<br>"Your sushi people sure are fast."  
>Shizuo blinked at the tiny woman that stood impatiently tapping her foot on the threshold and he noticed two things at once, she carried no food and for reasons unknown wore a lab coat.<br>"Where is Izaya? I've been trying to contact him for at least three hours. I'm busy so _you_, whoever you might be, better move out of the way now. Izaya!"  
>Shizuo blinked again. It was not everyday that anyone addressed him in such terms and especially not girls who were only slightly bigger than Izaya.<br>"Miss, I don't suppose you're here to deliver sushi?"  
>"Do I look like-"<br>"Bye, then."  
>Shizuo closed the door on her face. The chime exploded in a series of bursts then rang continuously. Izaya crept under the pillows again.<br>"Just let her in before she kills the entire neighborhood with that horrible noise."  
>Shizuo obeyed with a shrug and immediately she strode to Izaya's bed and stood before it with folded arms and eyes darting.<br>"Yagiri-san, what can I do for you? I'm afraid that I am a bit under the weather presently but if you will kind enough as to call my helper I am sure-"  
>"Already tried that. Instead of your errand boy some other guy picked up, a Ryugamine something or other."<br>"Oh dear."  
>"I have no idea of who he is and frankly I don't care. But I'd like to know why he's with your errand boy on some silly love tunnel like he took great pains to inform me."<br>Izaya bit his lips to keep himself from bursting out laughing.  
>"Kida-kun took a detour today but I assure you that he will take care of your issue as soon-"<br>She took a step forward.  
>"I don't want the junior squad. I want <em>you<em> because you're the best informant in Tokyo."  
>"Why, you flatter me so much, Yagiri-san. I believe that I will blush if you carry on like this."<br>Namie glanced at the bulky man that she had almost missed completely.  
>"Tell your minion to get out, can't discuss matters with him just hanging about."<br>Shizuo merely lifted an eyebrow.  
>"I'll wait outside for the sushi guy. Bloody woman is crazy anyway."<br>Namie ignored him altogether. Only now did she seem to realize that Izaya was in bed and rather paler than usual. She crossed her arms.  
>"This is highly unprofessional to receive a client like this."<br>"And here I was, thinking this was a 'Get Well' visit. I should have known better."  
>"Orihara, shut up. Where's-"<br>"-Seiji-kun?


	13. Chapter 13

One of Namie's eyebrows twitched while the other remained immovable. Izaya found it highly amusing, one of those quirks that elevated Namie above her ice queen status. Apart from her rather irrational obsession but presently Izaya was not one to point any fingers at that.  
>"If you know what I want already then get to it instead of making me lose my <em>time<em>. Find Seiji."  
>"Perhaps you should invest in a leash to keep your brother on. It would save you a lot of money but I suppose that would mean less profit for me and I can't have that happening, now can I?"<br>"Don't make me repeat myself."  
>Izaya waved in a desultory fashion.<br>"I understand. If you would be so kind as to get me that laptop behind you, I will see what I can do."  
>For a second Izaya thought that she would decapitate him with said machine and the mental image amused him so that he had to put on his most serious face as he typed along the flow of information. In a city of 12 million people finding a particular individual might seem nearly impossible but not so if you were Orihara Izaya.<br>"Yagiri-san, what is Seiji-kun's last known location?"  
>"He was home last night and gone in the morning."<br>Izaya hummed under his breath and eliminated sections of the city straight off the bat because he knew that Seiji was a creature of habit, having pulled off this stunt more than once, and narrowed it down further by hacking into the nifty system of cameras that were Izaya's eyes all over Tokyo.  
>"Yagiri Seiji, five minutes ago he was spotted at the intersection of Sunshine City in Ikebukuro."<br>Namie was already barking orders into her cell phone and heading for the door.  
>"Whatever happened to 'Thank you so much for finding my dear brother (again, even!), I am forever grateful, Izaya! Let me buy some drinks one of these days! You're the best informant ever!'"<br>She cast him a glance over her shoulder.  
>"I'll wire you the money. Same account?"<br>"Aye."  
>And with this Namie was gone, her shoes resounding loudly as she half ran. Izaya sprawled in bed again and pushed the laptop away, muttering,<br>"I get no love."  
>He closed his eyes and sighed.<br>"Your sushi's here."  
>Shizuo dangled a paper bag from a hand and held a cigarette in the other. Izaya propped himself up and realized suddenly that he was still very hungry.<br>"Yay! There are trays at the kitchen. And you really should not smoke, it damages your tasting buds and hinders you from appreciating this first rate ootoro."  
>Izaya rubbed his hands in anticipation before producing the sushi bits that he balanced on a tray and offering them up for Shizuo's inspection.<br>"Doesn't look too amazing to me. Just reddish raw fish."  
>"It's called 'fresh fish'. But beyond semantics it is simply too tasty. Just try it."<br>Shizuo did so, swallowing a nigiri whole. Izaya nearly dropped his.  
>"Not too bad."<br>"Shizuo, that's not how you eat it! Stick out your tongue. Don't look at me that way, it's nothing 'shady' as you'd put it."  
>At length Shizuo obeyed and Izaya's hand shook slightly at the not too covert undertones behind this.<br>"See? It melts! That means it's the best ootoro there is. Now chew, slowly. Good, isn't it?"  
>Izaya smiled as he watched Shizuo thoughtfully sampling the fish delicacy. Shizuo studied him back, wondering at the friendly atmosphere between them. It was very new but not unpleasant in any way, simply too novel for either of them to quite know how to handle it. Shizuo tasted the rich flavor that was also oddly enjoyable despite it being so unexpected.<br>"This is good, yeah. And you feed on this everyday?"  
>"Pretty much."<br>Shizuo took a smaller bite from the next roll, taking his time to enjoy the well prepared rice around the fleshy fish.  
>"Is it like this all the time? With all the chaos and people calling to harass you."<br>Izaya was devouring sushi left and right.  
>"That's an informant's life for you. And the client is never grateful or appreciative. Must be the fees."<br>Shizuo looked around at the spacious apartment once more, wondering how many other rooms were to it.  
>"You must charge a hell lot. I think your bathroom is about twice as big as my house."<br>"Ah, I'm not cheap, no. Because I get the job done."


	14. Chapter 14

Shizuo ate a bit of wasabi.  
>"I bet."<br>Izaya put down his chopsticks.  
>"But you know what, Shizuo? This place is so large that it only becomes lonelier when I get home every night and there's no one here but me. I think that the swivel chair is my only companion."<br>Izaya was aware that he was revealing too much.  
>"Why don't you get a pet, then?"<br>"A pet? Like what?"  
>Shizuo realized that he did like ootoro a lot. It was flavorful but not overpowering. He could get used to this. What else he might become accustomed to, however, was still unsure to him.<br>"This being you, I think that a cat would suit your character."  
>"How so?"<br>"Well, cats are cute and small. They sure can run and jump. But they'll claw your eyes out if you don't watch out, sneaky little buggers."  
>Izaya sighed.<br>"But cats don't care much for their owners, I just want someone not to loathe me. I'd settle for that."  
>"That's aiming real low."<br>Shizuo was trying to reel him in into being honest which might be impossible for Orihara Izaya, as far as he knew. Izaya thoughtfully chewed on his tuna.  
>"Ideally…ideally I'd want to have someone to love me but that's just not feasible, it seems."<br>"No clue what 'feasible' is. But how about that crazy woman that was just here?"  
>"Namie? Now that was…random."<br>"I think you'd be good together. She seems pretty off her rocker, you're no better. Yeah, good match, I think."  
>Izaya chuckled. He was slightly hurt at this but he could not let it show.<br>"And now you're making fun of me."  
>"Not really. I mean, you're on first name basis…kinda, at least. She's pretty, too."<br>"Shizuo, clients are just that. Clients. Besides, she already has someone. And I love-"  
>Izaya bit his tongue at the last moment.<br>"Why are you walking on eggshells? That's not like you."  
>Shizuo's mood was better than it had been in quite some time. The tasty sushi had something to do with it, seeing Izaya in a whole new light played a part as well.<br>"I'm not very good when it comes to morning after talks."  
>"Is that what this is? Guess so. Even back in school you were always with a different girl every week so I figured you weren't exactly looking for a special person or anything like that."<br>"Didn't have to look anyone. I've been in love with you for a long time."  
>Shizuo wished that he could eat like this everyday. Izaya squirmed slightly, saying such things was borderline unbearable without the intoxication of lust.<br>"What, 'love at first sight'?"  
>"Pretty much. Is it that difficult to believe?"<br>"Yeah."  
>"Why? You hated me at first sight."<br>Shizuo considered this.  
>"That's because I had a gut feeling you'd be trouble. And I was right. Just didn't think you'd be <em>this<em> much trouble."  
>"I'm sorry your day was ruined because of me."<br>Shizuo walked to the panoramic window, Tokyo spread out like Izaya's playground, and then back.  
>"I didn't mean that. It's just that things are complicated now."<br>Izaya nodded.  
>"At least I turned you into an ootoro lover. Want me to get you a special deal at this restaurant?"<br>"That'd be nice. Wait, does this mean I'd owe you a favor?"  
>Shizuo narrowed his eyes dangerously.<br>"No, no, no. I am genuinely trying to be friendly."  
>"'Friendly', huh. I keep waiting for the catch."<br>Izaya blinked.  
>"The catch?"<br>"Yeah. 'Take this deal and then I'll have you for good!' or, 'Be my friend or I'll send your ass to jail and throw away the key.'"  
>"That wouldn't make much sense."<br>Shizuo shrugged.  
>"Who's to say what makes sense in that mind of yours."<br>"I'm not framing you. Last night, it wasn't how I'd imagined how my first time with you would be…and I must confess something, I cruise the hottest gay bars to find guys that look like you. And get them to wear baby blue shades while they do me. There goes _all_ the remnants of self respect I still had."  
>Izaya smiled weakly. Mocking himself was part of his façade but he was flailing with something that was not at all his forte and that was expressing his true emotions. Shizuo blinked.<br>"Like I thought, you're crazy."  
>"And yes, I called them 'Shizu-chan' during the act."<br>Shizuo looked at him closely.  
>"Is that some sort of weird role play? And just how did you imagine it?"<br>"You'll laugh."


	15. Chapter 15

"Try me. You're the one who thinks that everything is hilarious."  
>Izaya seemed to be considering this so he was silent for a while.<br>"It starts with a date. We go to the movies and share popcorn."  
>"Let me guess, porn?"<br>"No, no. One of those cheesy films that you only find at all cute when you're head over heels."  
>Shizuo lifted an eyebrow.<br>"The lovey dovey kind?"  
>"Precisely! With plenty of fluff. We go to a late night session because it is more romantic. And you buy all the others seats so that we can be alone."<br>"Like I could afford that."  
>"Shizu-chan, it's a fantasy. By definition it is impossible all around."<br>Shizuo thoughtfully sampled a particularly juicy bit of tuna.  
>"I guess."<br>"After that we have an exceedingly late dinner at my favorite sushi place and I feed you some ootoro."  
>"You really gave this a lot of thought."<br>"But of course. Then we take a walk around Ikebukuro, namely Sunshine City and kiss just in front of that fountain. I invite you home and serve you your favorite kind of milk that I got that morning just for you and drink green tea myself."  
>Izaya had pictured this so many times it was very clear in his mind's eye, down to the minutest particular.<br>"Now that's detailed. You even know what we'd drink?"  
>"Aye, indeed. Afterwards you kiss me until we're lying on the floor and you hesitate a bit because you want to go all the way but don't have any condoms on you. So I lead you to the bedroom where I obviously have prepared a bunch of condoms and lube."<br>"So you're just as sneaky in your imagination as in real life, huh."  
>But Shizuo could not keep himself from cracking a smile.<br>"Right you are! And of course you then make love to me. It's more romantic put that way. Bonus points for missionary position. And needless to say corny dialogue during sex must be included and you call my name as you come. Then you obviously have to tell me that you love me dearly, followed by some spooning. And since this is sheer conjecture I can then add all sorts of variables after these necessary elements. Like, other positions because you're the kind to keep on going all night long. Eventually we cuddle and sleep together. Aw."  
>Izaya found his own imaginings quite endearing indeed.<br>"All that is really-"  
>"Creepy?"<br>"No, more like, really normal. I'd expect that from a normal girl. It's weird coming from you because it's so run of the mill."  
>Izaya blinked.<br>"What, what did you expect then?"  
>Shizuo considered it.<br>"Something like, latex suits or ropes…maybe doing stuff in public, blood play. That kind of thing. Messed up stuff."  
>Izaya sighed heavily.<br>"That is rather mean of you. I leave those things for our other dates. Leashes, some bondage, toys."  
>"That's more like you."<br>"But you see, as much as fantasies are by nature impossible keeping them within realistic bounds makes it feel like maybe it could just happen, one day."  
>Shizuo took notice of Izaya's tentative smile and handed him more sushi.<br>"You really are serious about this."  
>"I've been telling you as much for a while now…"<br>"It's never easy to tell since you're always making fun of everything. I keep expecting the walls to collapse and some talk show host to walk in."  
>"I think your imagination is way greater than my own."<br>Shizuo considered whether to ask what was weighing on his mind in the silence that followed.  
>"Did you hate it a lot? Last night, I mean."<br>"I'm not all that much into rough sex despite what it's said- somehow this city is rife with rumors about my sex life- but, as cliché as it may sounds…it's okay if it's you. Besides, I do have a few rape fantasies that are well in line with your violent tendencies."  
>Izaya nodded a faux sage attitude.<br>"I take that back. You're messed up in the head after all."  
>"Whatever do you mean! I'll have you know that rape fantasies are very common."<br>"Then there's a lot of fucked up people. I don't really get it."  
>Shizuo was rather afraid of disclosing his curiosity on the subject.<br>"It's the loss of control part, for me at least. In all areas of my life I have to be in control all around or I'm doomed. So when it comes to sex I'd rather be vulnerable in theory at least…it energizes me, I suppose. Maybe saying that it balances me is more accurate."


	16. Chapter 16

Shizuo rubbed his chin in a thoughtful attitude. He had these moments of introspection occasionally, at times even followed by some bit of wisdom, and Izaya found that Shizuo was at his most attractive when pondering as he now did.  
>"Not too sure I get it. But I suppose it makes sense in your crazy world. Hell, the people you work with are weirder than those I have to put up with."<br>"That is very true. And my love for humanity just so happens to be one-sided."  
>The obvious implication of this went unspoken. It was already heavy in the air between them.<br>"Still, I don't like the idea that I- that I'd rape you."  
>Izaya waved his chopsticks about, having decided that the more tuna one ate the better.<br>"Don't worry about it. Like I said, it's not rape if you want it…and I wasn't exactly expecting you to be all gentle and sweet. I fap in lala land but I don't live there."  
>"Still…I don't like it."<br>Shizuo muttered and downed a few more nigiris.  
>"To be honest, all that chasing me pushed my parkour skills to the limit but there were times when I did not run as fast as I could. Because when you pushed me down as if you were about to rip out my clothes and just do me right there in the middle of the street was better than actual sex."<br>Shizuo almost dropped his food.  
>"Are you serious…?"<br>"Yeah. I'm pretty sure most of the people in 'bukuro know about that."  
>"I never noticed…I mean, I knew you wanted to get into my pants- probably just so you could humiliate me later, really- but I had no clue you saw that as, erm,"<br>"Foreplay?"  
>"I guess."<br>Izaya chuckled.  
>"I figured you wouldn't notice. Because when you get angry you lose track of what's going on around you. Back in school I used to think that the best of die would be from doing it too much, after you literally kill me with sex."<br>Shizuo opened and closed his mouth a few times as if you mimic the fish he had been eating.  
>"<em>That<em> is fucked up no matter how you look at it. I hope you grew out of it."  
>"Well…kind of. I'd rather we grew old together and when we died got to reincarnate as people that are not hopelessly at odds and might have a shot at being very happy together, yay."<br>"That's a better way of looking at it, yeah."  
>"I can knit jackets with fur in my golden age and sit on my rocking chair at the porch and going 'damn kids nowadays!' while you'd go, 'Izaya, remember when I hated you? And to think that I love you so much.' And then I'd pretend that my hearing aid was off so that you have to repeat just how much you do love me a few times until you're so angry you're shouting at the top of yours lungs, 'IZAYA! I LOVE YOU!'."<br>Izaya laughed heartily. Shizuo knew that Izaya was one to get carried away by his own jokes but he had never realized how amusing it could be to watch him go on whacky tangents. Shizuo hid a chuckle with faux coughing. Izaya was still so amused by this alternative future that he was still giggling when Shizuo struck a serious note.  
>"Is it really that important to you? To hear that I love you?"<br>Izaya's smile faltered. Humor was a diversion tactic to him and one that Shizuo could easily dismantle.  
>"Well, yes. Which is also very 'normal', I think."<br>"I see."  
>Another interval of silence. Izaya gathered his bearings.<br>"You know, one of the main reasons why people jump to their deaths is because they're not loved."  
>Shizuo tried to shrug this off.<br>"Oh you're loved plenty. You got hordes of fans. They flock to me all the bloody time, asking for high school memorabilia. Like your high school button, as if I'd have _that_."  
>"That doesn't exactly count. It only matters if you're loved by the one you love. The rest is pretty much irrelevant. And about that button, it's on the desk, first drawer to the left."<br>Shizuo blinked.  
>"You still have it?"<br>"Of course."  
>"I figured you'd give it at graduation…or even sell it to the highest bidder and maybe get some forgeries and sell those too for extra profit."<br>Izaya burst out laughing.  
>"Oh dear, that would be priceless, wouldn't it! But I am afraid to disappoint you again. I wanted to toss it away but that would depress me, it has emotional value after all. But the one I wanted to give it to was you and that would not work."<p> 


	17. Chapter 17

More silence.  
>"You know what, Izaya…you're not as bad as I thought."<br>"Thanks?"  
>"Makes me feel pretty shitty for everything that I've done to you. Even though you can be a bastard."<br>Izaya had a witty remark ready but he changed his mind at the last moment.  
>"If you really want to make it up to me then you could always do it with me again and be less rough about it."<br>"Are you serious?"  
>"Of course."<br>Shizuo studied from above his rimless shades as if assessing Izaya all over again. At length he bridged the gap between them and cupped his cheek before placing a brief kiss on his lips. Izaya opened his mouth to say something, not quite sure of what, and Shizuo took the opportunity to kiss him at his own leisure. Taking his own time. Then slowly brushing fingers underneath clothes only to have Izaya start. Shizuo frowned.  
>"I thought you wanted this."<br>Izaya hesitated a bit before answering.  
>"And I do, but I didn't think you'd take me on that offer."<br>"Then guess again."  
>Shizuo unloosened the bow around his neck and clambered unto bed thus showing Izaya that he indeed meant business. Izaya cleared his throat as Shizuo peeled off clothes from his slender frame.<br>"Ah, I guess I'm so hot that you want more."  
>But Izaya's smile was slightly nervous.<br>"Don't flatter yourself."  
>"Would never do such a thing."<br>It was Izaya who unbuttoned Shizuo's vest and worked his fingers to do away with the shirt underneath, trailing down until he was undoing the buttons in contact with the belt that he proceeded to unbuckle. But he was tentative as he touched broad shoulders and traced a light caress over the well defined chest, wincing as he met the faded but present ghosts of two deep gashes that were now scars running over the stomach.  
>"That's your handiwork right there."<br>"Sorry…"  
>"I'll hand it out to you, you're the only one that's ever managed to actually leave a mark on my body."<br>Izaya kissed the branded patch of skin.  
>"Not exactly an accomplishment. Even though you're so strong."<br>Shizuo eased him on his back and kicked off his pants as he placed himself above a somewhat anxious Izaya.  
>"Well, I won't hurt you. That'll ruin everything."<br>"What everything?"  
>"There you go again, getting all complicated on me."<br>"Things tend to be complicated."  
>Shizuo looked around.<br>"Yeah, yeah. More importantly, I suppose you've got some lube? Since you are…well, you."  
>Izaya giggled in a teasing way.<br>"That is a rather evil assumption you're making there but you are right. All you need is in that drawer on the bedside table."  
>Here Shizuo found all sorts of things, he removed a bottle of lubricant, a package of condoms and a pair of handcuffs at which he blinked.<br>"I should have known."  
>"Those are costume made, see the fur?"<br>Shizuo dangled the clanging metal from a finger, black fluffy puffs adding a peculiar touch to the kinky object.  
>"You're not just crazy, you're insane."<br>"Aren't those synonymous?"  
>Shizuo tossed the handcuffs away.<br>"Stop it with the fancy words."  
>Izaya smiled at the look of concentration as Shizuo squeezed out a generous amount of sweet scented fluid on his fingers.<br>"Ah, this reminds me! I have heard that sushi is an aphrodisiac. Particularly ootoro."  
>Shizuo inserted a finger with deliberate slowness.<br>"I figured you'd be into dirty talking but instead you're more into rambling. I don't even know why I'm surprised since you do that normally."  
>Izaya winced, this time in a pained expression. Shizuo tried to extract his finger but Izaya detained him firmly, his small hand unflinching.<br>"Don't stop, please."  
>"You've got to be sore from- before."<br>"It's fine. Just put some lube on it and add more fingers."  
>Shizuo stared him in the eyes for a while before complying.<br>"Okay, then."  
>Throughout the preparation Shizuo kissed him and found himself fascinated as he swallowed the occasional moan. Izaya heated up, a slow pink flush suffusing his pale skin even as he hardened under Shizuo's ministrations.<br>"There- just use the real thing now."  
>Shizuo put on a condom and made sure that it was well lubed up before placing the tip to Izaya and very slowly pushing into him. Izaya tensed up and his back arched at the intrusion so that Shizuo took the opportunity for holding him even as he buried himself to the hilt.<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

Izaya was breathless and burning up from within, a chaos of emotions felt like a physical weight on his chest where it contended with the brusque thunder of his heart beating wildly. Shizuo felt some of this and kissed him softly in reassurance.  
>"You're so tiny."<br>"More like you're so big."  
>Shizuo held him on, gently, and hooked one of Izaya's legs over his shoulder. The steadier leverage allowed Shizuo to reach in deeply and a shudder ran through Izaya as he was hit in just the right way. Izaya gasped and urged Shizuo to bring him closer as if to make up for too many years of distance. Despite the exquisite tightness that engulfed Shizuo, he still stopped.<br>"Are you sure you're okay with this?"  
>As if to make a point, a trickle of Izaya's pre-cum oozed from the engorged tip and down his hard length.<br>"It sounds like a cliché but- move. Faster-"  
>Shizuo complied readily enough. He needed only do as every single instinct was telling him to and that was to plunge into Izaya repeatedly, his rhythm becoming more frantic with every thrust. The frail body beneath him was all aquiver with pleasure. Just the sight of Shizuo's well-defined muscles working underneath sweat covered skin coupled with the slight frown of concentration on his face, lips ajar, was enough to melt Izaya. Shizuo held unto one of Izaya's hips and caressed the delicate foot that dangled in the air. Izaya moaned loudly and Shizuo licked a nipple, sucking on it with a hint of a bite.<br>"Shizu-chan…"  
>In his elation Izaya reverted to his affectionate and familiar nickname. He was silenced by a particularly strong impact that shot a jolt of electricity up his spine. The rocking motion sent nerve ending tingling and Izaya forced himself to keep his eyes open even if his vision was a bit blurry. But he did not want to miss a frame of this, his mind going into something of a cinematographic mode.<br>Shizuo now lifted him up and the change in angle was enough to topple off Izaya. Orgasm was violent and robbed him of words. A bit of spittle rolled to his chin and Shizuo kissed it, his own climax was on him, redoubled tightness quickening it. Shizuo was not one to speak during the act but the name slipped out in a ragged pant.  
>"Izaya…"<br>Shizuo collected him in his arms. Izaya was very warm, skin scalding against Shizuo who made as if to withdraw only to have Izaya's weak plea detaining him once more.  
>"Just a bit longer. I don't think I've ever been this- this happy."<br>Tears brimmed his eyes and Izaya smiled through them. At length Shizuo withdrew, regrettably, and knew that he wanted more contact. Izaya surprised him by licking his belly clean of semen. Shizuo pulled him into salty kiss and then checked his temperature with his lips.  
>"You've got a fever again."<br>"Nah…just hot from sex."  
>Izaya rested against him, suddenly profoundly tired but very content to be in this kind warmth.<br>"Take another aspirin. Just to be on the safe side."  
>Izaya obeyed with some difficulty, his eyes shutting down of their own accord. He struggled to stay awake, biting his lower lip until he drew a bit of blood. Shizuo blinked in surprise and wiped it.<br>"Can't fall asleep…because you'll be gone by the time I wake up and-"  
>Shizuo climbed into bed with him and lied next to him, pulling sheets and a fluffy high quality feather blanket to cover both of them.<br>"Wouldn't mind sleeping in a really nice bed like this."  
>Izaya was almost afraid now.<br>"I'd think that this was a dream but my lip still hurts…"  
>"Whose fault is that anyway. Your own and no one else's."<br>The words were brusque as usual but the tone was different. Shizuo took a few drags from a cigarette, the leaden cloudy flavor adding a final touch to this unlikely scene that was yet very uncomfortable. Izaya smiled sleepily.  
>"Are you the kind that smokes after sex?"<br>"Yeah, pretty much. And don't just lie there, get closer."  
>Izaya hesitated as one a bit at a loss. But he was more than eager to snuggle. Shizuo's scent, something indefinable, mingled with the smoke. Izaya breathed in deep and felt the weight of exhaustion drag him down into oblivion.<br>"Don't want to sleep…want to stay together longer…because…I love Shizu-chan…"  
>"Just go to sleep already. I promise I'll be here when you wake up."<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

"Really…?"  
>"Yeah. And then I'll treat you to the kind of date I can afford and that I like. You okay with that?"<br>Izaya was sobbing again.  
>"That's- more than I ever expected- Shizu-chan- sorry, you hate being called that-"<br>"Don't sweat it, just stop crying."  
>Izaya closed his eyes and entwined their limbs together.<br>"…okay. Too sleepy, goodnight…"  
>"Yeah, yeah. G'night."<br>Shizuo watched Izaya drift into sleep. The smile grew dreamy. Shizuo patted his head. Izaya slept silently, his breathing so slight that he looked like some sculptured impersonation of slumber. Shizuo did not know what he had just gotten himself into. It was not a spur of a moment thing, he had just extended this thing into the future. Shizuo sounded his motives briefly and realized he was as comfortable with his as he was with having Izaya sleep in his arms. At length he joined him in dreamless but replenishing sleep that was warm darkness.

After a grueling session of Disneyland rides interspaced with long winded speeches about 'friendship' and 'your lack of respect for people that _is_ Orihara-san's fault' without forgetting that 'you should pay attention to me since I always have your best interests in mind' Kida finally managed to get away from Mikado. He dragged himself to Izaya's apartment and was relieved to find it unlocked. He let himself in, already complaining as he removed his shoes and made his way into the entrance hall.  
>"Orihara-san, you have no idea of what dreadful my day was. Let me just say that on the scale of one to ten it was around a million. And-"<br>He stopped at the threshold of the bedroom. First because he noticed a pile of clothes just scattered on the floor and then Izaya and Shizuo, happily sleeping after what Kida was sure had been some steamy sex. Kida smiled at the spectacle. Here were two of Tokyo's most dangerous men in their different ways yet completely harmless. As much as Kida at times found Izaya to be too taxing he found himself happy for him now. He closed the door behind him, careful as to not disturb them, whispering on his way out:  
>"Wish you all the luck in the world, Orihara-san. And don't forget you still owe me some wages."<br>Kida ate some remains of ootoro that was still lying about on his way out. He figured that it was compensation and a well deserved one. As he stepped outside and unto a busy street a song reached him, the lyrics resonating as they filled the air with sound.  
>"'One is the loneliest number', huh…maybe, but it's not as bad as two when that means the other one is Mikado. 'Kida-kun! You must donate a kidney to some dying child right now! How can you be so heartless! Kida-kun!'"<br>Kida burst out laughing. His mood was improving considerably. He wondered if he could ask for a raise now. Kida skipped back home. The chorus followed him down the busy streets of this crazy city.


	20. Epilogue

"_Itadakimasu!_"  
>Izaya separated his chopsticks and despite his enthusiasm it was in a tentative manner that he sampled the murky noodles that filled the large bowl in front of him. He blew on the richly scented steam-like aroma before taking a small bite.<br>"Hey, this is actually very tasty!"  
>Shizuo shrugged. He sat next to Izaya on the counter of the open small stall that normally could sit six. With Shizuo the available seating space was considerably encroached upon so it was not surprising that the two of them had the place all to themselves. Behind them a steady stream of people walked by, the rapid steps submerged in the din of the city at night. Some of these, especially those forced to take a short break from their blind race through labyrinths as they waited for the light to change, noticed the contrast between the small teenager (Izaya easily could pass for one) and the blonde giant that dwarfed his surroundings.<br>"Why wouldn't it be tasty, ramen is good."  
>Izaya drank warm broth that tasted of home cooked meals such as had the vaguest idea of.<br>"So it is! This place sure is a find, though. Are you a regular here?"  
>Shizuo nodded as he poked around for the slices bits of pork that could be vaguely discerned in the muddled looking but very flavorful mix of ramen and baby vegetables.<br>"Yeah. This is the real stuff, none of that instant crap you had around."  
>True to his word Shizuo had taken Izaya on something of a date.<br>"It's much better than those ramen cups, I'll give you that! Can I have a refill?"  
>Izaya held the already empty bowl with both hands and smiled.<br>"You sure eat a lot for a light weight."  
>"Only when the food is good. But this sure is great, eating outside like this. Thank you!"<br>Izaya was already wolfing down his second serving, slurping all the way. Shizuo watched him with growing surprise.  
>"I suppose you should eat plenty and recover."<br>"True that, Shizu-chan. And who knows, maybe I'll grow a bit and all!"  
>"Yeah, right."<br>"Stranger things have happened."  
>"Like what?"<br>Izaya's smile grew cryptic.  
>"Like you and I having dinner together in such a peaceful way."<br>Shizuo shrugged dismissively.  
>"I told that I'd take you out. And I'm not a liar. Unlike <em>you<em>."  
>Izaya giggled as he added soy sauce. This was how things should be between them even if he was rooting for some sweeter developments down the line. Shizuo was still on his guard, in fact he cast him glances over his glasses as if he expected Izaya to do something crazy or another (such as to use his chopsticks as lethal weapons, perhaps even of the mass destruction kind. Shizuo did not put such impossibilities quite beyond Izaya), but the overall tone was that of testing the waters and not a prelude to the storm.<br>"Ah, Shizu-chan, feeling obliged is never good."  
>Izaya could go for a third round but he did not want to tax Shizuo's wallet any further. And so they left shortly after, Shizuo parting from a few bills since he insisted on paying. Izaya hesitated on taking his arm and decided not to because he did value his life.<br>"You can be such a gentleman, Shizu-chan!"  
>The reply was a snort. They walked into Sunshine City, Shizuo with a cigarette tucked at the corner of his mouth and ruthlessly ignoring all the NO SMOKING signs on the pavement.<br>"Don't go expecting roses or something like that."  
>"So what do you want to do now? Pachinko?"<br>Shizuo tensed and for a split second Izaya was afraid that he was about to get hit.  
>"I don't like pachinko. I never win and that makes me angry. And it's noisy."<br>The only time Shizuo went to such parlors it was to collects debts.  
>"I see your point. So, what do you do for fun?"<br>Izaya suspected that it would be exceedingly boring but it did not matter. Just spending time together was enough to give him a very strange feeling of wondrous joy that he associated with leaping from rooftop to rooftop as he often did in dreams. Shizuo took a lot of time considering the question and for a few speechless moments he simply rubbed his chin. They walked side by side but Izaya had to dash every two steps in order to keep up with his striding pace. Izaya was becoming slightly apprehensive with this silence and about to break it when Shizuo tossed away the cigarette and said, in his flattest tone,  
>"Come."<br>Izaya obeyed without adding any of the many witty comments that occurred to him. His fanciful imagination wanted Shizuo to grab his hand and take him away as often happened in those highly cheesy movies that Izaya watched for laughs. But he knew that while they were already treading some sort of continuum of miracles Heiwajima Shizuo remained Heiwajima Shizuo. They turned many corners and crossed many a half asleep street, so that Izaya was not precisely lost by the time they stopped in front of an underpass, he knew Tokyo's geography by heart, but not quite as sure of his relative location as usual. Izaya turned around and saw nothing but bland building façades around and the underpass suspended as if it were in mid-air against a backdrop of lights amidst darkness.  
>"Is this it…? There's nothing here…"<br>"Hush. Wait a sec. Impatient flea."  
>Izaya sighed. Then closed his arms and waited. And waited a bit more.<br>"What exactly am I waiting for, anyway?"  
>"You'll see."<br>Izaya gave up. Maybe this was a trippy joke of sorts. Izaya was about to protest again when a train came racing down the underpass, heralded by flickers of light that preceded it and that became a kaleidoscope as its many windows flashed brightly, propelled forward by speed that made them alive. From where they stood it a shower of shiny silver enveloped them in a magical world of motion and beauty. Izaya opened his mouth in amazement and Shizuo kissed him without a hint of romantic flair but just in the right way. Izaya wrapped his slender arms around him and kissed back with all he had so that they could feel each other's body in the same embrace under the falling light. Even after this was on they did not break apart.  
>Which was why Celty caught a good sight of the new lovers as she rode on her horsemotorbike, winding up just behind them, so that she could not possible fail to notice that they were Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya. The shock caused her to lose control of her living vehicle and sent her flying helmet first into the asphalt. Shizuo and Izaya did not even notice. Celty was on her feet immediately and furiously typing on her PDA. She halted before they could sense her presence (seeing was out of the question since they both had their eyes closed as if the rest of the world did not exist) and if she could have blinked she would have had. Eventually she simply shrugged and got back on her bike. She was about to leave but then decided to take a picture before that. Shinra would never believe this without some evidence and somehow she wanted to ask him about it. Celty hoped that Izaya was not about to do something nasty to Shizuo but she supposed that if that happened, Shizuo would simply kill him on the spot. She cast a final glance before riding away. Perhaps she was wrong and Izaya was not heartless. By the looks of it and judging the way he clung to Shizuo, he was anything but. Humans could be so hard to figure out.  
>Izaya was breathless by the time he emerged from the kiss. He was also a bit flushed, a smile dancing uncertainly on slightly swollen lips.<br>"Shizu-chan, you sure can kiss."  
>"So you're back to '-chan'-ing me again?"<br>"Shizuo-sama!"  
>"It's getting cold. Want to come over?"<br>"Can I?"  
>"I guess it'd be fine."<br>Izaya zipped up his jacket, grabbed one of Shizuo's hands in his and placed it in a fur covered pocket.  
>"Let's just stay here and watch more trains."<p>

They did so until the last rain rolled by. Later they watched TV on Shizuo's old sofa and made love on the creaky bed. Which was not to say that Izaya did not chuckle at Shizuo at times when he should not (namely when some bouncy idol was on the screen) and that Shizuo did not step on Izaya's toes every now and then (literally, even). More than anything else this normality edged them closer to the status of a couple. As did details, a brand new toothbrush and a glass were tucked on the bathroom sink. Izaya smiled. He could get used to this.  
>"Izaya, water's ready. Are you getting in or not?"<br>"Why don't we bathe together!"  
>"Don't push your luck. You go first."<br>Izaya laughed. Without a doubt, he could get used to this. He splashed about and hummed that horrendous song that he now found amusing. Life was a wonderful thing now that the one human he really loved was closer than ever. Orihara Izaya was happy. And two was the best number ever.

**The End.**


End file.
